I’ll never forget the day my now-husband Sunny walked up to me at a party…
I was so nervous to talk to him I could barely think straight! (NOT my normal way of being… but he was so darn cute!)
We started a conversation that night that has lasted nearly 5 years now.
Five years of bringing out the best in one another, and calling each other to our highest potential – even when it’s uncomfortable. Five years of snuggles, words of affirmation (both of our #1 Love Language), and unconditional love. Five years of navigating challenging conversations and major life transitions from a foundation of mutual respect, trust & commitment that continues to deepen with time.
I’m sharing this because we’ve heard from many of our clients and community that you are ready to call in your Life Partners – and I remember clearly what it was like to be in that place.
Knowing I was ready for my “person,” but not knowing where to find him. Going on lots of dates, getting my heart broken more than once, and wondering at times if my soulmate really was out there.
Yet, by the time Sunny showed up, it was in many ways no surprise.
Why? Because I’d been super intentional about calling him in.
I want to share the process I followed with you today, so you can try it on if it serves you – or share it with a friend or loved one who is searching for “The One.”
Then, in my next article, I’ll share some specific practices that have helped us create a relationship that is both deeply nourishing and truly empowering, 98% of the time. 😉
(Oh yes, we have our moments, just like anyone! But with these tools we’ve managed to keep the unnecessary drama to 2% or less of our relationship.)
How I Called in My Soulmate
It all started with a conversation I had with my mentor & now-business partner, Gigi Sage, 6 months before Sunny walked into my life… I told her I was tired of dating, and relationships I knew deep down weren’t “it.” I was ready to meet my Life Partner.
At that point, she’d been an internationally sought-after communication & relationship expert for nearly three decades. But because she was my mom, it took me nearly that long to admit that I didn’t have it all figured out on my own!
She gave me a few very specific instructions, and I followed them to a tee.
Here’s the short version of what she shared with me:
STEP 1: Get crystal clear about the VALUES you want your life partner to share.
- Start by writing out your top 10-20 values you want your partner to have, then ask yourself, “Which of these are truly non-negotiables?”
- Keep narrowing it down until you have your TOP 5 values.
- Then define what each of these means to you.
For example, one of my top values was “mission driven – wants to make a positive impact in the world.” But I didn’t stop there! I wrote a short paragraph about exactly what that means to me. Do this for each of your Top 5 Values.
STEP 2: As you’re dating, remember your Top 5 Values. These are your non-negotiables.
If you go on a date with someone who you can tell doesn’t share those values, don’t go on a second date. (If you’re truly looking for your life partner, it would just be a waste of your time.)
We see so many people who end up spending months or even years with someone, hoping they will change. But people’s core values rarely change – and shared values are one of the top determining factors in whether a relationship succeeds long-term.
So if he doesn’t want kids and you do? Next!
STEP 3: Dance them into your life.
You may think I’m kidding, but I’m not! When I was calling in “The One,” I was also super into that song “Cheerleader” by Omi. So Gigi told me to dance to that song everyday while imagining the man I was calling in (who I would be a great cheerleader for).
You should have seen us dancing around her Amsterdam apartment – belting out, “Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader…” It sounds silly, but I know this was a key part of attracting the relationship I wanted.
You can only do so much in your mind. The rest comes down to energy. Find your song, listen to it everyday, and dance & sing your heart out. It’s worth a shot, right?
As we say with everything we teach, don’t agree or disagree.
Instead, try it out for the next 60 days. If it works for you, keep it. If not, throw it out. 🙂
And who knows… you may just find yourself with a new beau for the New Year!