How to Deal with Doubters: What To Do When the People Closest To You Don’t Support Your Dreams

Going for your dreams requires you to be bold, brave, and to believe in yourself – even when you’re afraid or it feels like things won’t work out. 

When you have a big dream and you’re putting everything on the line to make it happen, few things can knock you down faster than the people you love & trust expressing doubt and not supporting you. 

Maybe your friends and family don’t believe in coaching – or don’t understand you working so hard to get your business off the ground. 

Or maybe you keep putting your dreams on hold because you’re afraid of letting your loved ones down. 

Although the people in your life most likely mean well with their concerns – hearing their thoughts about why your choices don’t make sense to them, feeling their doubt or judgement, or simply knowing they don’t believe in you can throw you off-course in going for your dreams. 

We hear these stories all the time from our clients. 

The good news is, there are practical ways to navigate this sticky dynamic and keep yourself on track, so you can put 100% of your energy toward making your vision for your life & business a reality. 

These are three tips we share with our clients who are dealing with doubters as they pursue their dreams:

TIP #1: Get clear on what YOU want before you share with others.

If you’re wavering in yourself about whether or not you want to do something, then the people in your life will be able to sway you with their doubts. That’s why it’s important to get crystal clear about what you want before you share with your friends or loved ones!

Clarity starts with asking yourself: What do I want? Why do I want to do this? 

If your ‘why’ is coming from a place of true desire, if it’s something YOU want to do, then it has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. 

Once you’re clear about what you want and why you want it – regardless of outside influences – then you can think about sharing with people you love. At this point, you’ll be coming from a stronger place… a place of clarity. 

TIP #2: Choose to share with those who support your dreams (and wait to share with others!).

How many times have you had a great idea and shared it with your friends or family – only to be discouraged? 

We know it’s tempting to share the things that excite you with the ones you love… 

We recommend you choose to share with your friends who support you! You know, the ones who build you up and encourage your ‘crazy’ ideas, whether or not they agree with them. 😉

If you don’t have those kinds of people in your life, expand your network and community by joining a group program or attending local events where you’d be likely to meet like-minded people.

Remember, this isn’t about keeping things from people. It’s about choosing to share with those who will support your dreams – and waiting for the right time to share with the others. 

Patience pays off! The time will come when you are getting such amazing results that you decide it’s the right time to share with others, and they will have no room for doubt anymore. Let them be amazed! 

TIP 3: When asking a loved one to support you financially, make it a business proposal!

If you want to invest in your dreams and need to ask a spouse, partner or other loved one for financial support, treat it as a business proposal rather than a personal favor. 

Take our client Marie for example. Marie wanted to join our coaching certification to help her create the purpose-driven business she always dreamed of, but she didn’t have the money on her own to invest. 

She wanted to ask her partner to support her, but she was worried he would say no. We suggested she approach it as a business arrangement!

So instead of simply asking him for money, she sat him down and said:

“Here is what I want to do. I’m really clear this is the next step for me. I feel it’s really important that I do this! Would you be open to supporting me financially to make this investment? I can start paying you back in 18 months so it gives me time to go through the program, apply what I’m learning, and build up my business. Then we can come up with an agreement of how much I’ll pay you back on a monthly basis until the amount is paid off.”

When she did this, her partner was taken aback but really appreciated that she brought it to him in this way. He was able to see she felt really strongly about what she wanted to achieve. They created a financial arrangement that worked for both of them and Marie was able to join the program, bringing her one step closer to her dream business!

This simple conversation created a completely different dynamic than Marie had experienced in the past… 

When she’d wanted support from someone before, she’d ask in a timid way, and it felt like she was asking for a favor. Then when the other person had follow-up questions, she’d waver and retract her request for help. 

Afterward, she would feel disappointed in herself for not going for it and trusting herself. 

With this new approach, she avoided all of that. She got what she wanted AND both she and her partner felt great about it!

What did Marie do this time that worked?

She was clear about what she wanted and why. Rather than asking for permission, she asked for support. She came prepared with an arrangement that her partner would be able to get on board with. 

Give it a try… you’ve got this! 

When the people in your life don’t support your dreams, remember that their intentions are good. 

Often, what’s underneath their doubt or lack of support is a fear that you’re going to change. The people closest to you have a picture of you playing a certain role in their life, and it’s human nature that they will try and keep you in that role. 

They might fear that if you become successful and achieve your dreams, they will lose you, or you won’t be as close. This fear is natural, and it normally isn’t conscious. Do your best to come from a place of understanding – more than likely, the doubt they are expressing has little to do with whether or not they really believe in you. 

The bottom line is this: 

If you’re stretching out of your comfort zone in pursuit of your dreams, the people around you may not understand at first. But it is so important you follow those inner whispers. 

If you put your dreams on hold because of others, it may breed resentment, and create a rift in your relationships over time. Don’t let it get to that point!

Whatever you’re deeply desiring, trust your instinct and go for it.

Your loved ones may not understand it at first, but as you gain strength and create results, they will often come around – and go from being doubters to believers. 

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