We’ve made it to the third and final article in the Secrets of Power Couples® series.
If you missed parts one and two, I recommend reading them first.
Today I want to talk about how you can go from having a great relationship, to a true Power Couple dynamic.
But let me say first, this isn’t right for everyone.
Not everyone wants a relationship that’s about more than just their relationship. Not every couple is here to play a bigger game together.
I’ve coached thousands of people who are content to have strong communication, and simply enjoy their time together. That’s what most couples are aiming for!
However, there are couples who feel that deeper call to create something more together. This could be a business, a family, or an impact project. Perhaps even all of the above.
A Power Couple dynamic is more complex, but for some, it can also be far richer and more fulfilling.
If that calls to you, or if you are curious about what it takes to co-create a life and relationship this way, then today’s article is for you.
After you read it, I’d love to hear from you. Reply to this email and let me know what touched you, inspired you, or impacted you – and any questions you have.
“The ‘Secret Ingredient’ That Turns
Great Couples into Power Couples.”
(Secrets of Power Couples® Part 3)
“I could feel it. He was on a mission, and I was on a mission.” – Landon Donovan
“All of a sudden, we were a team.” – David Beckham
“Landon and David put their shit aside, stopped bitching at each other, and started playing. And all of a sudden, everything clicked.” – Tim Lieweke (CEO of AEG 1996-2013 – owners of LA Galaxy Soccer team)
If you’ve watched the new Netflix show Beckham, about one of the most famous soccer players of our time, you may remember this quote from the final episode. At this point in the story, David has signed on with the LA Galaxy team, and he and the other strongest player on the team are completely at odds with one another. They are not getting along.
Finally, their coach steps in, brings them into the office, and sits them down together. In the end, they see each other’s perspective and apologize to one another. As a result of this conversation, they remember that they are on the same team, and ultimately, they both want the same thing.
After that, their team goes on to win the MLS Cup, something David describes as “one of the most rewarding moments of my career.”
Another famous sports story revolves around coach John Wooden.
Wooden coached college basketball, most famously doing 27 seasons with UCLA. According to the UCLA Anderson School of Management:
“Under Coach Wooden, the Bruins posted record after record. The team won 10 NCAA Championships, including seven in a row between 1966 and 1973. During this streak of seven straight championships, the Bruins won 38 straight NCAA Tournament games.”
At one point his team won 88 straight games over four consecutive seasons, earning Wooden the nickname, “The Wizard of Westwood.”
His ability to bring out the best in his teams was the stuff of legend. He was famously quoted as saying, “A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life.”
So what do these two stories have to do with the Secrets of Power Couples®?
In both cases, the teams had a secret ingredient that made all the difference: a great coach.
What does a great coach do for a team?
- They help bring out the best in each individual – as well as the team.
- They support team members in working through conflict when it arises.
- They keep the big picture in mind, and design strategies that allow the team to achieve their ultimate goal – winning games and trophies.
According to a 2019 study conducted by the University of Chicago, which analyzed hundreds of seasons of data, “coaches account for 20 percent to 30 percent of the variation in team outcomes.”
Can a team win without a great coach? Absolutely.
Are their chances dramatically improved when they have one? The numbers speak for themselves.
The same is true for relationships. Some thrive without outside support.
However, the ‘secret ingredient’ that helps many great couples become Power Couples is the support of a dedicated coach.
And you might never know it, because most of them rarely talk about it.
I’ve had the honor of working deeply with a number of couples over the past decade or more. Couples who started out like any other, in love and with big dreams for their future.
Many of them were well on their way to making some of those dreams a reality. However, they had a sense that there was more they were capable of doing together, and more enjoyment & fulfillment to be experienced along the way.
One of these couples – let’s call them Mark & Cynthia – were serial entrepreneurs. They had several children. They had a beautiful life.
You might ask why a couple like that would even hire a coach. But for Mark and Cynthia they knew, this was only the tip of the iceberg. They had bigger dreams, individually, together, and as a family. They brought me in first to support them in their businesses, and then this evolved quickly to encompass all areas of their life, including their relationship.
As a result, their communication became more peaceful and cooperative. Cynthia felt more heard and Mark felt more accepted. Both partners felt more seen & appreciated by each other.
I came in and saw the individual strengths of each individual, and how they could evolve their roles in their companies and family to really tap into their zones of genius. Over time, this freed them both up. They had more time & energy, and were able to step out of the day-to-day busyness of life and see their bigger vision.
They aligned behind a new company and a mission they both felt passionate about. They felt excited and inspired about going for this “bigger game,” which has the potential to outperform their past successes 100-fold.
Each step of the way, I helped them navigate the challenges that arose, both personally and professionally. Interpersonal dynamics within their family. Empowering each child in order to bring out the best in them. Breakdowns in their companies. Hiring, firing, and putting the right people in the right places.
Like the radar in an airplane, I scanned the environment and relayed information back to the two co-pilots, Mark and Cynthia, so that they could act accordingly. I taught them powerful communication skills that they used in their personal and professional lives. We developed a great trust that continues to this day.
When I asked Cynthia about the impact of our work together over the years, she said: “I can’t even begin to describe how much it has changed our lives.” She went on to talk about the changes in her relationship, family, income & impact. She said it was easily worth millions.
Another woman that I’ve worked with over the past 15 years, individually as well as in her family and relationship said, “I would absolutely be divorced today if not for our work together. Instead, we are happily married, more successful than I ever could have imagined, and all of our kids are happy and thriving.”
So, if you’re reading this and wondering, “How can I create my version of that?” “How can I take the great relationship I’m in, and create a true Power Couple dynamic that empowers us both to make our biggest dreams come true?”
Then, if you’re ready to get personalized support, I have a special invitation for you…
I’m hosting an exclusive retreat in Jamaica in February 2024. It’s called the Secrets of Power Couples® Retreat, and it is a week-long immersive experience, limited to 7 couples.
This is your opportunity to get away from your day-to-day life and have an unforgettable experience together – while learning, connecting with like-minded Power Couples from around the world, and creating and refining your bigger vision for your life, income & impact. You’ll also address any breakdowns or energy drains on the relationship, and learn powerful skills and tools that will serve you for the rest of your life.
Between workshop sessions, you’ll lounge by the pool and delight in all of your senses with delicious meals, gorgeous sunsets, the sounds of nature, and intimate time with your partner. Surprise excursions will round out the week with a sense of adventure & play.